Precocious, a comic by Christopher J Paulsen

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Introductory Stories

Gender Wars image

Gender Wars - The Precocious "pilot episode"
Intro Strip #1 - "All About the Violence"
Intro Strip #2 - "Punctuality Through Deception"
Intro Strip #3 - "Always a Hoot at Parties"
Intro Strip #4 - "Ice Breakers & Party Games"
Intro Strip #5 - "Yeah, I Could Kill People"
Intro Strip #6 - "A Fine Vocation"
Intro Strip #7 - "I Like Where This is Going"
Intro Strip #8 - "The, Uh, Best Ally"
Intro Strip #9 - "IT CAN BE TWO THINGS"
Intro Strip #10 - "Swift! Brutal! Feminine!"
Intro Strip #11 - "They Don't Exist"
Intro Strip #12 - "The Recruitment Drive"
Intro Strip #13 - "Intellectual Superiority"
Intro Strip #14 - "You'd Think She'd be Memorable..."
Intro Strip #15 - "Darn those middle upper lower middle class people"
Intro Strip #16 - "Screw Equality!"
Intro Strip #17 - "The Root of All Evil"
Intro Strip #18 - "SUPER villains go for Gusto"
Intro Strip #19 - "Up in Diamond Bluffs"
Intro Strip #20 - "Little Miss Popular"
Intro Strip #21 - "JAZZHANDS!"
Intro Strip #22 - "Fair Fights Are Overrated"
Intro Strip #23 - "10 FEET, MAX!"
Intro Strip #24 - "Wait, are you saying you're *not* a villain?"
Intro Strip #25 - "This is discrimination!"
Intro Strip #26 - "Chaos draws me near"
Intro Strip #27 - "In my history book, the Seahawks have Super Bowl rings"
Intro Strip #28 - "Poor timing"
Intro Strip #29 - "No good deed goes unpunished"
Intro Strip #30 - "Now we're getting somewhere!"
Intro Strip #31 - "Semantics"
Intro Strip #32 - "Location Location Location"
Intro Strip #33 - "Meet the Et swarm"
Intro Strip #34 - "Paperwork vs Magical Force Fields"
Intro Strip #35 - "Girls! Girls! Girls!"
Intro Strip #36 - "Roll call!"
Intro Strip #37 - "Recruitment drive: Fail"
Intro Strip #38 - "How else can one land a husband?"
Intro Strip #39 - "Unfriendly fire"
Intro Strip #40 - "I weep for my gender"
Intro Strip #41 - "Red-shirted ensign, report to the away team"
Intro Strip #42 - "Snakeoil for sale"
Intro Strip #43 - "Whatevs. It's cool."
Intro Strip #44 - "See?"
Intro Strip #45 - "Water water everywhere..."
Intro Strip #46 - "...and not a drop to drink"
Intro Strip #47 - "A pawn by any other name..."
Intro Strip #48 - "The most dangerous game"
Intro Strip #49 - "Fearsomely cute"
Intro Strip #50 - "We all remember the first strip, right?"
Intro Strip #51 - "Chess: Not just an analogy for war"
Intro Strip #52 - "Collateral damage"
Intro Strip #53 - "Sore loser"
Intro Strip #54 - "Oh..."
Intro Strip #55 - "The final showdown"
Intro Strip #56 - "Well, that was unexpected"
Intro Strip #57 - "Victory!"
Intro Strip #58 - "Everybody dance now!"
Intro Strip #59 - "The side that wins"
Intro Strip #60 - "Violence unmatched"
Intro Strip #61 - "No hard feelings"
Intro Strip #62 - "THE Supervillain"
Promo strip - Meet the kids of Precocious

My Father;s Son image

My Father's Son - An introduction to the Precocious parents
Intro Strip #63 - "How do you pay a saint?"
Intro Strip #64 - "It must be the freckles"
Intro Strip #65 - "Sky Et: Master Strategist"
Intro Strip #66 - "In lieu of a punchline, please accept cookie Pacman"
Intro Strip #67 - "I had a knife in my hand and I had to do something!"
Intro Strip #68 - "What an independence day that was!"
Intro Strip #69 - "At least he put down the knife before saying that"
Intro Strip #70 - "The delusions of a sad, abandoned child"
Intro Strip #71 - "This watch I have is useless!"
Intro Strip #72 - "..although I haven't checked in a while."
Intro Strip #73 - "Fe fi fo fum, I smell - ooh, paninis!"
Intro Strip #74 - "Eggplant is still a crime"
Intro Strip #75 - "I don't know where, or if, he sleeps"
Intro Strip #76 - "Nicknames"
Intro Strip #77 - "Those bridges, and that house, are burned"
Intro Strip #78 - "Concerned Autumn is adorable!"
Intro Strip #79 - "The rarely-seen Jacob slam"
Intro Strip #80 - "Go fish"
Intro Strip #81 - "Too much sharing"
Intro Strip #82 - "Mommy Relaxation Time™"
Intro Strip #83 - "Sydney Oven: Awesome Mother"
Intro Strip #84 - "This was supposed to be about ME!"
Intro Strip #85 - "Usually it takes a court order"
Intro Strip #86 - "A wide selection of wine"
Intro Strip #87 - "They're joking. Don't call Social Services."
Intro Strip #88 - "Enough praising our strange children!"
Intro Strip #89 - "Lame names"
Intro Strip #90 - "Disease-ridden children"
Intro Strip #91 - "Luck: Far more important than ambition"
Intro Strip #92 - "Jacob's parents: Patently ridiculous"
Intro Strip #93 - "In order to love others, you must first love yourself"
Intro Strip #94 - "Most happy marriages start this way"
Intro Strip #95 - "Finally, this strip gets some nudity!"
Intro Strip #96 - "Sincerity in the age of sarcasm"
Intro Strip #97 - "Calamity has overruled eavesdropping"
Intro Strip #98 - "Preserved dignity"

2009 - It has begun!

Back to school with Roddy image

Strip #1 - "A larger vocabulary"
Strip #2 - "Total class warfare"
Strip #3 - "Annoying things"
Strip #4 - "Even I think this one's too dark"
Strip #5 - "Step away from the new girl!"
Strip #6 - "They remember your name, so that's progress..."
Bonus Sunday Strip - "We all need hobbies"
Strip #7 - "Assigned Seats"
Strip #8 - "Chiller Font"
Strip #9 - "Dancing around that issue"
Strip #10 - "My first chance to traumatize you"
Strip #11 - "When your life is on the line..."
Strip #12 - "Insomniac logic is a special kind of logic"
Strip #13 - "Not to be confused with the super villain onion"
Strip #14 - "EVIL!"
Strip #15 - "It's a branding issue"
Strip #16 - "Is anyone really surprised to find out Dionne has a throne of bone?"
Strip #17 - "Exceedingly cute!"
Strip #18 - "They did it again!"
Strip #19 - "Trouble brewing..."
Strip #20 - "Awesome Party!"
Strip #21 - "That danged magician"
Strip #22 - "A good parent can read the subtle signs"
Strip #23 - "We'd even skip your party, and we're your parents"
Strip #24 - "Even the bright side is dim"
Strip #25 - "The old lady!"
Strip #26 - "Do not taunt Super Happy Fun Autumn"
Strip #27 - "Max's birthday party: a comic featuring comics!"
Strip #28 - "This party is a blast!"
Strip #29 - "Weaponized confetti: Unfortunate consequence; bad name for a band."
Strip #30 - "An actual pity party"
Strip #31 - "Chaos and creativity"
Strip #32 - "Space Invader"
Strip #33 - "The second wave of the invasion"
Strip #34 - "They just keep coming!"
Strip #35 - "Please disturb this clubhouse!"
Strip #36 - "I'm not implying anything, but I suggest googling 'The Great Dalmuti'"
Bonus Sunday Strip - "Nothing about this world makes sense"
Strip #37 - "That's my true love you're insulting!"
Strip #38 - "You don't like chocolate!?"
Strip #39 - "Tolerance for others"
Strip #40 - "I'm with Bud on this one"
Strip #41 - "Another dessert disaster impending?"
Strip #42 - "Genius Cooking: It's ALWAYS Brain Food if You Make it!"
Bonus Sunday Strip - "With apologies to Gary Larson"
Strip #43 - "Rule #4"
Strip #44 - "This is pretty much the Et house, all the time"
Strip #45 - "It's a real bummer if you're HIV-"
Strip #46 - "The missing Ovens"
Strip #47 - "Bills... bills... bil-- WHAT!?"
Strip #48 - "It's true, kids! Your teachers and parents ARE plotting against you!"
Strip #49 - "Who the heck are they!?!"
Strip #50 - "Who the heck are you!?!"
Strip #51 - "You heard the stranger!"
Strip #52 - "Quietly judging you"
Strip #53 - "Kaitlyn's mommy walks into a buzzsaw"
Strip #54 - "WHY WON'T YOU SHUT UP!?"
Strip #55 - "Much more fun than the real world"
Strip #56 - "What was that about insane theatrics?"
Strip #57 - "THE BAKE SALE IS SCIENCE!"
Strip #58 - "It finally sinks in"
Strip #59 - "a fail so epic it might be win"
Strip #60 - "I'm in ur base, takin back my desserts"
Strip #61 - "I didn't think she was *capable* of anger."
Strip #62 - "The infinite canvas project"
Strip #63 - "Dr. Oven is not a kind instructor"
Strip #64 - "Who says puns are the lowest form of humor?"
Strip #65 - "What are they trying to make?"
Strip #66 - "Another villain enters the scene"
Strip #67 - "Holy cognitive dissonance!"
Strip #68 - "The rambling apologist"
Strip #69 - "SUBTLE POLITICAL COMMENTARY"
Strip #70 - "The only advantage the parents have"
Strip #71 - "There sits a broken woman"
Strip #72 - "Questionable branding"
Strip #73 - "A proud parent"
Strip #74 - "Back to obscurity"
Strip #75 - "A and B students"
Strip #76 - "Sir, I exist!"
Strip #77 - "Diamond Bluffs vs Sapphire Lake: A Socioeconimic Game"
Strip #78 - "A delicate touch"
Strip #79 - "The path of no return"
Strip #80 - "This is not dodgeball"
Strip #81 - "Two minutes in the penalty box for that one"
Strip #82 - "Why does this keep happening to us?"
Strip #83 - "The conscientious enabler"
Strip #84 - "Jacob's life story in four panels"
Strip #85 - "That's the message behind all art, really"
Strip #86 - "The age-old practice of 'Bambi Eyes'"
Strip #87 - "On to plan B?"
Strip #88 - "FAMILIES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!"
Strip #89 - "Eternal boredom = Eternal life?"
Strip #90 - "Little Miss Something"
Strip #91 - "This is my favorite song"
Strip #92 - "A number one hit!"
Strip #93 - "Love is a building. Which is on fire."
Strip #94 - "This is what you get when you mess with us"
Strip #95 - "Win truth: Bud did."
Strip #96 - "Dan Rather is not amused"
Strip #97 - "The Magical Mystery Tour"
Strip #98 - "Milestones"
Strip #99 - "This is why I stay away!"
Strip #100 - "Paddle-Battleboats? Padtleboats? Batdleboats? Feh."
Strip #101 - "It's coming..."
Strip #102 - "She really *is* a monster!"
Strip #103 - "A leader in adorable crime!"
Strip #104 - "Ahh, Spring!"
Strip #105 - "New girl here!"
Strip #106 - "Laziness isn't your way"
Strip #107 - "The other kids' summer projects"
Strip #108 - "A black thumb?"
Strip #109 - "Submit to your teacher"
Strip #110 - "NNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDSSSSSS!!!"
Strip #111 - "13 Smiling Faces, Part 1"
Strip #112 - "Many many mental problems"
Strip #113 - "The original Dr. Oven"
Strip #114 - "More vital information left out"
Strip #115 - "You're the what now?"
Strip #116 - "Certifiable"
Strip #117 - "The boy ain't right"
Strip #118 - "13 Smiling Faces, Part 2"
Strip #119 - "Don't cry over busywork"
Strip #120 - "Ms. Monster's master plan"
Strip #121 - "The solution"
Strip #122 - "You. Me. Talk."
Strip #123 - "The house always wins"
Strip #124 - "LIBRARY SCIENCE!!"
Strip #125 - "A class of predators"
Strip #126 - "Old joke, but a good one"
Strip #127 - "Hard-headed"
Strip #128 - "Not the helping kind"
Strip #129 - "She's getting predictable"
Strip #130 - "In case of casualties"
Strip #131 - "Here comes more trouble"
Strip #132 - "Such a hard worker"
Strip #133 - "We've been invaded!"
Strip #134 - "Normals are so weird"
Strip #135 - "Disorganize some sports!"
Strip #136 - "Hu's on first"
Strip #137 - "Spite and malice"
Strip #138 - "I love baseball"
Strip #139 - "The best time for wars"
Strip #140 - "Second base is second fiddle"
Strip #141 - "A built-in support"
Strip #242 - "Adorable, fluffy and utilitarian"
Strip #243 - "Pitching tryouts"
Strip #244 - "My way's more fun!"
Strip #245 - "Center field"
Strip #246 - "A new hobby!"
Strip #247 - "Hey, batter batter!"
Strip #248 - "Mercy rule"
Strip #249 - "A bunt situation"
Strip #250 - "Significantly less fun"
Strip #251 - "Never taunt the catcher"
Strip #252 - "Victory in defeat"

 

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